Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Change

I used to struggle to find an immortal constant in life. The struggle is now over. Not because I've discovered that immortal constant, but because I'm at peace with change. From what I've gathered, nothing stays the same, and this comforts and inspires me. Change is exciting and beautiful. Change illustrates life's limitless potentials, opportunities and possibilities. Coming to terms with this is, I think, freedom.

So, well, I guess change IS paradoxically the constant I've been wondering about.

P.S. Never underestimate the power of goodness and the goodness of yourSELF. And above all else, never say never.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Russel Brand's School of Vocabulary


This past Monday I followed an impulse to buy Russell Brand's autobiography, My Booky Wook, and it's so goody wood I can hardly stand it. It's a joyride. It's lighthearted. It's incandescent. It's naughty. It's a vocabulary lesson. I haven't whizzed through a book this fast in the longest time. Though I'm always reading it in close vicinity to dictionary.com, and I'm constantly pausing myself to look words up like vertiginous, pejorative, vitriolic and priapic. I love it! I'm always laughing and eager to learn a new word. It should always be this fun to learn stuff.
So, I've come up with a plan (that I'll start when I'm through with this blog post) to make learning vocabulary even more awesome. Since I've always entertained the thought of having a 'word of the day', and since I really could be putting more time into making art, I'm going to fill up my empty sketchbook with words and drawings to associate them with. This excites me. I'll post pictures of the fruits of my labor soon enough. For now, here's a picture of my inspiration :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Moon and Stars

It's not the most common thing in the world for me to be inspired to post a blog entry, but I am right now, so I'm rollin' with the feelin' and doin' it! I find that some of my best journal entries are spontaneous, unplanned ones with unknown destinations. It's fun to document a train of thought and then to read it back later on down the line and to observe what's the same and what's different about the way my neurons fire.
Wow, so I could hardly believe how bright the moon was last night. It was really really beautiful. All of the clouds were illuminated, and at 3am it looked like it was about to be dawn. The only thing close to being a downside about the moon being full is that the stars get washed out from all that light. But honestly, I hardly ever look at the stars like I used to. I used to love making an event out of stargazing every night. It's amazing how many shooting stars make them selves known on a nightly basis if you're willing to be patient and if your neck can hold your head back long enough without cramping up.
Welll, I should go take my shower. I think a reading session is in order after that. And maybe some night sky observation on the balcony with some candles. A romantic evening of self. The moon should be even brighter tonight than it was yesterday.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Tibetan Meditation Group, Sundays @ 6pm on the Arcata Plaza (an essay)

On Sunday, September 26th from 6:00-8:00 pm, I joined a Tibetan meditation group at the Community Yoga Center on the Arcata Plaza. They meet at the same time every week in the semi-small yoga studio upstairs, and of course, anyone is welcome. This week, the focus of the gathering was Mahayana Buddhism. In short, Mahayana Buddhists believe in no Creator or ruling deity. They believe that deity is present in the doctrine of The Three Bodies of Buddha; The first being The Body of Essence, which is the ineffable, impersonal absolute reality, or infinite truth that is Nirvana. The second is The Body of Bliss or Enjoyment: Buddha as a formless, deity, divine, celestial spirit with the power of saving grace. The third is The Body of Transformation or Emanation. This is an emanation or illusion in human form provided by the divine Buddha to guide a person to Enlightenment (something anyone can achieve).

Upon arrival, I found the gathering to be a lot less formal than I imagined it would be. I was immediately welcomed by a nice woman in loose pants and a t-shirt and the sweet smell of burning incense. On the front wall, hung a poster of Chenrezig, the compassionate Buddha (the other main focus of the evening). Before that was a shrine, adorned with tea lights and framed pictures of the Dalai Lama. I settled into a folding chair with my text along with a few other people, but most sat on mats on the floor in front of me. My text was a small, rectangular collection of unbound pages, tucked away into a folded front and back cover, which we all read together aloud. It was written in Sanskrit, with English translations underneath. I was told that most Sundays, the group read the text in Sanskrit, but this time we read everything in English, apart from the mantras. They probably did this, because they sensed there were some first-timers in the group.

The first hour of this gathering consisted of readings from the text, repeated mantras, and moments of silent meditation, led by a member of the group, who didn't seem to be any more important than anyone else in attendance. The meditations succeeded in quieting my thoughts about the past and future and bringing me into the present moment. "Om Mani Peme Hung" was one of the meditative mantras that was chanted and sung many times, and one of my favorites. There was no English translation for this in the text, so at the end of the service, I asked a friend there about the meaning, and she told me that it meant "the jewel within the lotus". She then walked me over to the front wall and showed me its pictorial representation in the poster of the Chenrezig.

The second hour of the gathering was an open discussion. It began with a woman reading a passage out of a book observing the emptiness, formlessness and voidness of the mind. At the end of the reading, a man asked "So let's talk about all this emptiness" The woman who was reading the book answered by telling the man to "think about Los Angeles". Once he confirmed that he had Los Angeles pictured within his mind's eye, she said "Okay, now think about New York City", and he did. Her point was that the mind doesn't have to travel across the country to get from Los Angeles to New York. It instantaneously moves from point A to point B, because it has no form, no filling, no density. But it is eternal, and therefore real, therefore causing ripples in the eternal universe, effecting Karma, which is also real. She and a few others went on to discuss how the mind isn't bound by anything, and has no location in space or time. Even material things that are impermanent like the mats and the shrine in the studio have no location, because everything we give a name to isn't made out of just one thing. The shrine is made up of candles, pictures and incense, which includes wax, wood, fire, glass, metal and dried plant material, amongst an infinite amount of other composites. Everything is made up of something, which basically means that nothing can really be located, and that everything is connected.

Another point of discussion was emotions and their volatile impermanence. In Mahayana, if one is experiencing a negative emotion, the goal is to instantly transform it into something more favorable, instead of clinging to it. On an energetic level, something that is given attention expands, so the idea in this practice is focus on the transformation of the negative feeling into something more beautiful instead of the negative feeling itself. The fact that this transformation is possible means that the unfavorable emotion of fear, sadness, frustration... etc, is an illusion. It is unreal, because it is impermanent and malleable. Knowing this enables one to transmute an emotion like anger into something like exhilaration, or sadness into serene inspiration; Similar energies with very different usages, made possible by a shift in intention. At this time, I watched the sun set through the studio windows and the light change from piercing white to a more subdued, golden glow.

Proceeding the discussion, we all wrapped up the gathering by re-reading a dedication to Dalai Lama from the text, I contributed a dollar, my email address and phone number, and that was that. I can sincerely say that this experience was worth my while and very stimulating. I'll most likely be back for another visit sometime soon.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Divine Goosebumps

I'm not sure how far this subject will propel my train of thought, but I want to find out. And in case it goes somewhere good, I'd like to share it. I've always had a feeling that goosebumps or chills were the effect of a more-than-physical cause. Science says that they happen when we're cold or afraid, which is true (don't get chills so much when I'm afraid though), but it doesn't address the bleeding obvious fact that people also get them when they're inspired, witnessing profound beauty, feeling indescribable love, or when something resonates deeply with their core beliefs. I was just reading a bit of my book, where a shaman was telling a native story to his apprentice about a magical deer. It may sound silly out of context, but the flow of events, the feeling behind the story, and the imagery conveyed induced some mad goosebumps, followed by a tightening in my throat. There's something beyond mere physiology going on here. I guess the subject captivates me the way it does, because to me, it's kind of like a tangible manifestation of something beautifully mysterious and Divine. More on this later. I want to get back to my book.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I Love to Weave

Jewelery making is one of my new passions, I do declare! I was walking around Michael's the other day with the intention of buying a compass and a new pencil sharpener, when a spool of multi-colored hemp string caught my eye. It excited me, and I felt compelled to buy it, so I did. I googled "how to weave a hemp bracelet" when I got home, and voila! A new hobby was born.

"A bracelet a day keeps the doctor away" is my new motto. I still love apples, but making these little beauties is really therapeutic and satisfying. I made a rose quartz bracelet yesterday, and I'm thinking about making another tonight before I go to bed. There's nothing like creating your own things. Who knows, maybe this can blossom into a small, lighthearted business.

I have a job interview at the campus bookstore tomorrow morning. I'm nervous just thinking about it. This'll be my first ever interview. I wasn't interviewed for my last job at Baldy View Gymnastics, because I knew everyone in charge personally for years. This time, not so much. Phew... It will be fine. It will be fine. It will be fine. It will be fine.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Today was a good day. I had a nice sleep-in, went in to Moonrise Herbs for an organic salad and took advantage of my Sequoia Park Zoo annual pass. It's a small zoo, but a gem, and it was very worth my trouble finding it. I found a nice bench in front of the howling gibbons. I forgot the name of the brown male. I think Bono? Well, me and Bono had a nice munch on lettuce together. I used a fork, and he used his foot.
It was nice being able to wander the zoo at my own pace, observing what I wanted for how long I wanted. Besides the gibbons, I had a good look at some pretty spider monkeys, a spotted owl, a couple of ravens, a western blue bird, a sacred ibis, a bunch of friendly goats, flamingos, and THE RED PANDAS! Oh my god, I love those guys. Just look at them:
The first time I checked out their new habitat, they were hiding, so I was really excited this time to see one poking its head out of its hut and the other chewing on bamboo in plain view.
Soo on my way out of the zoo, I had a look around the gift shop and bought a much needed coffee mug that has one of the best, most comfortable handles ever. I'm drinking coffee out of it now and loving it.

Anyway, I've used up most of my blog writing energy for the day. Power to the animals! They make me happy. Really happy. I want to go back to the zoo again and again and befriend every species there.